Knock Knock

Welcome to my humble web log.  Here I hope to tease out some of the issues that I, and I suspect a great number of others, faced in post-modern America.  Perhaps other places as well.

What would I like the reader to know as we journey and journal together?  I am a nerd, and an introvert.  Yet I love people, and love understanding how they (and how I) work.  I am naturally a man of science, numbers, algorithms, and determinism.  Yet I am deeply spiritual and cannot begin to understand how all this is here without some grand design being set up and run by something big.

I am honest, open, and trusting, sometimes to the point of innocence (said kindly) or naivete (said less so) in personal and social situations.  Yet I can be incredibly cynical when reviewing things in the abstract.

I am suspicious of labels, dogmas, and buckets for people, yet I am a Christian and subscribe to that label.  I believe that there is one true religion, yet I would never stop you from practicing yours.

I am surprisingly easy to get to say "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong" about even important things.  But I am passionate about what I believe is right and true.

I am very proud of what I have accomplished (sometimes unhealthily so), and yet what I have accomplished is embarrassingly slight.  And as I look upon it critically, it seems to shrink even more.

I am a pretty good cyclist.  I own an 18-minute Old La Honda time.  I have finished the notorious Climb to Kaiser in 9 hours and 39 minutes.  Yet I have won exactly one bicycle race, as a Cat 5 in 1996.

So in summary, I am a walking set of contradictions and surprises.  Yet so are you, I expect!  So really, there is no contradiction and no surprise in me at all!

Due to issues of health and limitations in my ability, I found a couple of years ago that my life started to come apart.  Of the four major areas in my life, three stopped going well: health, career, athletics.  My loving wife held it together for me for a while, but that took a toll on her, as well!  Digging through that has caused me to question what is really important to me, and why I should care about anything.  And so it is from that point of view that I put metaphorical pen to metaphorical paper here now.